GoFundMe: Help Needed

My mom created a gofundme for my family because we’re in dire need of help. This is what she said:

A mother’s wish!!!

Created on February 22, 2015
Wanda Cadoree-Jackson

ABOUT THIS CAMPAIGN
Hello all,

I am a mom of five beautiful, wonderful and giving daughters. For the last four years, it’s just been me and my daughters. I separated from their biological father because I knew they deserved so much more than what he was willing to provide for them.
Arianna is our eldest child, Ari as we call her is so warm, loving and helpful to anyone who is in need. When Ari was just 16 she began working a a local food store and became a major resource of our household income. My daughter is so timid, this position frightened her almost to death, but she hung in there and has been promoted twice in six years. Ari wants to become a dental hygenist and she has started college several times since finishing high schoool with top honors. Although she tries, the struggles we have financially has contributed to her set backs and her emotional health. When my daughter was only in elementary school, I remember her always wanting to have friends and be loved allways. She always there for me! An appliance broke down and she does what she do every Sunday, takes up her day and goes to the laundrymat for the family. She is our taxi cab and mom-away-from-mom sibling to her four sisters. I commute to work everday as a teacher to students with severe disabilities and educational deficiencies. I log over 500 miles weekly. So when I get home every evening, it’s ari who has transported everyone of her siblings to and from their daily destinations safely everyday. My daughter, doesn’t have time for a social life of her own because she to busy helping me!!
Tori and Taylor, our 22 year old twins. Again, wonderful, bright, intellectuals who graduated 3 and 6 respectfully in the senior classes and immediately attempted to enter colleges in different parts of Texas. Taylor tried her best at Sam Houston State and Tori was an Honor roll student at University of Texas at Austin. They tried so hard!! So many factors contributed to their withdrawal and the return home. The number one factor was concern for me and our strong attachment and love for each other. The stress was tramatic for Taylor who suffers from anxiety and depression. Tori wants to become a Speech and Language Pathologist and she is currently enrolled full-time at the University of Houston Central Campus. Tori has such common sense. She is well spoken and so dignified; such the lady all the time. Tori cries at the drop of a dime whenever there’s anquish or sufffering happening to anyone else; whether known to her or not. She is a fighter for fairness, equality and justice. Tori believes that things in life eventually works it’s self out and so her optimism is what trully defines stability in the household. Taylor will earn the right to become a world-reknown famous artist in her own right. Taylor is so gifted; so talented, I cannot in no way speak of her personal talents with enough significance to highlight the true level of her talent and the enormous size of her heart. She is always worrying!! Mostly about me. She worries silently, but her worries are not befitting of a child of her age. Taylor is suffering. She has spoken and wriiten about thoughts of ending her precious life. Taylor will not go for therapy because she says we cannot afford the cost of counseling/psychiatric sessions. I always tell her that we have private insurance and we will find ways for her to get help.
I’m so afraid of loosing my child!!! Taylor has made another attempt at school. She is enrolled in Graphic Art and Design full-time at Houston Community College. Everyday it’s a struggle for her!! Taylor is so afraid she will fail. The though of riding the bus on the occasions Ari can’t pick her is terrifying for her and for me because I’m afraid all the time I will get a call that she is hurt or hospitalized. She wants to succeed. She wants to make ME proud!
Sabrina is a walking talking beauty queen, both inside and out. Thankfully, she has friends and a social life. She is an honor student as well. At only 16 years old, Sabrina is full-time at her International High School for International Studies and full-time at Houston Community College. With God’s continued blessing, she will graduate with her diploma and an Associate’s Degree in 2016. Sabrina hopes to become an elementary teacher for at-risk kids. I think she should be a supermodel; but she says that that’s not the life for her. Her teachers always speak highly of her as she continues to follow in the footsteps her older sister modeled before her. I love my daughters so much. They are inspirational and much to be admired!!!
Amaris is the youngest. She is ten years old and attends her favorite school in Southeast Houston. Amaris is the only child who attended only one school . Because of financial troubles and lack of employment; I was always in school earning earning one of four Graduate degrees, working full-time and caring for our kids. However, we lacked the financial intellect and savvy to maintain stability, so we moved a lot. This is one reason, if not the main reason, the girls were not able to establish social connections every growing child desperately needs. Their attachments has been and still is a strong and unwavering bond among themselves.
Anyway, Amaris if we all would agree is probably the top honor student. Every years she wins hands down every award to be justly earned. She loves school. She is also recognized as a leader by her classmates and teachers. She stands so proudly in both her father and my eyes. her sisters adore her! She’ a bit spoiled. Rightly so!! She’s earned the privilege. Amaris wants to become a famous and talented Archer or Attorney. She wants private lessons, so I’m trying to find Schools where she can get a scholarship. When I asked her recently why she wants to become a lawyer, she answered that she doesn’t exactly know why, but that someday people will need her. Amaris loves flowers and things related to nature. She plants little flowers and seeds whenever she can. My daughters never ask for material things. They don’t have the latest tech gadgets, designer clothes, but are satisfied when we can occasionally go out together to enjoy simple things like the park, theater, museums, a fair, rodeo, carnival and a heated game of Uno or checkers. Amaris wants her own bedroom in the colors purple, blue and white. Purple’s her favorite color.
The girls are getting older and so am I. I worry what will become of them if I’m not here. The stress is so much. It’s unbearable most of the time. Many who might read our story may say she has beautiful daughter’s what’s her problem?
I know they deserve so much more!!! I know that I’m not what they need in their life. I want them to explore life, friends, fun, mistakes, adventure and make decisions for themselves!!! Decisions that don’t consider my needs. They are young. I am robbing them of the treasures of being young and happy. They should be able to spend their money on themselves, but they selflessly give it to the household budget.
Their dad was ordered to pay child support; either he doesn’t have anything to give like he says, or won’t because of his anger towards me. Whatever the case, they love their dad and rightly so. This situation is equally our fault.
What’s been stated about our daughters pale incomparision to their real truths! Everyone who knows them always state how truly blessed we are to have such remarkable young women. We are blessed.
But there’s tension, anxiety, depression and frustration! It’s mounting. The older they get, their needs far outcedes my ability to care for us all. Our goal is for them to remain at home so as not to accumulate unesssary student loan debt if at all possible.
On top of the already financial pains, my  school district received notification of a possible closing in July of this year. Wow! Talk about scared! What do I do for my girls.
Currently, I’m not in the best of health, emotionally or physically. The daily travel is very difficult, but I would travel to the end-of-the-earth if necessary for them. They are worth every single moment I’m not in a comfort zone. They are my breaths of life. Our transitions are strained and I feel as though at any moment, I could lose them.
This is my mother’s wish. I wish we could get help with two year’s rental payment. The rent is 1,300.00 monthly so my daughters could use their hard earned money for themselves. I wish they could pamper themselves like other young women do; even occasionally.This wish would allow me to take the time
necessary to walk Taylor through researching and finding the best options for her to receive help for her mental health well-being  so that I will not possibly lose my child to depression or suicide. My life will be over. Please, please, anyone, please help me to help Taylor!!
I hope anyone reading, contact me and ask Taylor to show some of her incredible Art Works. Truly Amazing!!! I wish we could could all attend counseling services.
My real reason for writing is just to let anyone, everyone in the world know that five  women are coming of age as significant to contributors to our world. I want us to go on a retreat, I want them to discover their own “aha” moments. I want them to prepare soon for the transition into their needs and their wants. Most of all I want them to believe that they are worth of a full-filled life.  I don’t want our situation to dim their beautiful outwardly glow. They are my lamp.  These five girls are my blood, but the richness of their beings belongs to the world.
This is my,mother’s wish.

If anyone can help our family would appreciate it! Click here

Tired.

Ugh. I’m tired of living tbh. Truly. Tired of having to struggle mentally and emotionally,  it’s a never ending circle. Tired of not being the kind of person I want to be. Tired of my mom being insensitive to my feelings. So tired of people thinking they can apologize to me after saying unforgivable words. Get the fuck away from me. STOP apologizing because you’re going to do/say some foul shit again. I. Do not. Trust. you. Don’t even look in my direction. Stop guilt tripping me for everything and being manipulative. Let me tell you what my mom did last month a week before my birthday. She went off on me just because I borrowed something of hers. Okay. She already was mad about something I guess so I told her it’s not a big deal that I borrowed some tweezers for these brows and she wants to snap at me and say no one respects her and that it is a big deal, and I gave the tweezers back saying she doesnt even use them.      I told her to leave me tf alone and take the tweezers and that she just wanted to argue with someone, which made her madder. SOMEHOW, the discussion escalated to her insulting my intelligence and mocking my mental illness. I don’t even go in her things 😩 I said she was acting crazy and she said “well, you’d know all about being crazy wouldn’t you?” Unforgivable. You’ve caused 95 percent of the stress and self hatred that I go through. So yeah I’d knw. So she just got up in my face after I told her to leave me alone, stop talking to me and long story short I almost ended my life before I reached 22. I was seriously contemplating it. Okay you may go off on me for not doing as I was told but no one realizes it damages me. Threatening me, calling my mind warped, twisted, irrational, belittling me. And you wonder why I have no confidence in myself? I remember everything. I do not forget. I’m not obligated to open my heart to you again after you ripped a chunk of it out. That was the worst emotional breakdown I’ve ever had. That’s not all she’s said to me. My sisters have said things too. I don’t forget. Like how my own twin sister said she wished I never made it off the operating table. Blows me away. That’s why I think when people say things when they’re angry I know they mean it. To say otherwise is bull fucking shit. You tell me you didn’t mean it then cry when I get angry and tell you the truth about yourself. I always mean what I say IDGAF. How can you say these things to me and forget about it yet it has to circulate in my mind??? Why do I feel guilty and you don’t? You insinuated that I seek attention. That I cut for attention,  that I cry because I want attention.  No I do it bc I hate myself sometimes. “You’re trifiling, your opinion doesn’t matter, you’re crazy, you’re not depressed,  you’re pathetic,  get out of my house,  etc…” I’m too through. No one knows or cares that I’m trying to do better.

Michael Jackson’s Vitiligo: Why People Know So Little About the Disease.

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Such ignorance. Fan denying MJ had vitiligo.

Look at the screenshot above. Let me tell you what’s wrong with what this fan said. This person insinuated that Michael Jackson bleached his skin which is what caused the vitiligo and damaged his ability to make melanin, which is so false that it’s laughable. As a fan I’ve learned not to assume that everyone will know the truth about Michael Jackson, whether it be the subject of his innocence, his plastic surgeries or his medical conditions. However, it’s still frustrating to interact with people who have been brainwashed by the media. I find that a lot of people who believe that Michael Jackson wanted to be white also believe he couldn’t procreate and have his own kids. I spoke about it in an earlier post here: Mixed Children: Why MJ Couldn’t Have Any in the Eyes of the Media

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Jackson struggled with the disease way before the 1990s.

Michael Jackson was diagnosed with vitiligo and lupus in the 80s by his dermatologist Arnold Kline. The autopsy has confirmed he had vitiligo, the medical records confirm he was diagnosed with both diseases. What I don’t understand is why people choose to believe the testimony of strangers who have never treated Michael Jackson and speculate based on their supposed “profession”. His autopsy results and medical records are unfortunately available to the public but people will read them and STILL believe he didn’t have a skin condition! It’s amazing!

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A screenshot of his 1984 medical records. Discoid Lupus.

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Screenshot of official autopsy report confirms he had vitiligo

What is Vitiligo?

Vitiligo [ vit-ill-EYE-go]
Is a progressive skin condition where the body’s ability to produce melanin is damaged. It’s unclear as to what causes this kind of damage to where people lose their pigmentation. However you can NOT develop vitiligo by using common “skin bleaching” creams found over the counter. Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease, and though it has no negative affects on the body physically (besides increasing your chances for sunburn) it takes a toll emotionally for the people who have it, especially if they have to live in the public eye like Michael did.

BIGGEST MYTHS ABOUT THE MEDICATION HE USED TO “LIGHTEN” HIS SKIN:

It was confirmed after going through Jackson’s medical records that he used the medication Benoquin to get rid of the patches and turn his skin almost completely white. Use of this medication is common in patients who have severe vitiligo. So no, it wasn’t a bleach specially formulated for Michael Jackson. There is no over the counter bleaching creme you can take that will turn your entire body milky white.

MYTH : Michael Jackson used bleaching creme

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Photo credit: Karina (@SoftlyYouSay2Me)

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Benoquin is NOT a bleaching creme. It’s used to treat extensive vitiligo. It is medicine. The media have twisted this information without giving people an educated explanation as to why he decided to remove the pigment altogether in the first place. It was not because he wanted to be “white”, but because he’d spent years trying to cover the light spots with darker makeup. There was no use trying to mix makeup to match his skin if the vitilgo became worse with each year, so he made the decision to remove the pigment. Many people who have vitiligo use the makeup brand Dermablend to cover light splotches on the body. MJ was not the first entertainer to develop vitligo. He just made the disease well known because of his fame. He was not the first person to use Dermablend for the disorder, and he isn’t the first to use Benoquin. The media took every decision he made and turned it into something weird when in reality he sought treatment the same way other people do.

Did Michael Jackson Want to be White?
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A friend of MJ's describes Michael's experience with Vitiligo

“I don’t blame him- had I his condition, and the funds, I would have done it too.”

Michael Jackson didn’t have to have depigmentation therapy. He could’ve just stayed splotchy and have to deal with hiding it from the public, but that’s no one’s concern. If someone has a disease you don’t blame them for the treatment they seek to improve their lives. If you’ve never had a disease what makes you think you have the right to have contempt for someone’s choices? MJ didn’t want to have to deal with being “spotted” and he didn’t have to either.

People with Vitiligo are bullied (for example America’s Next Top Model contestant Winnie Harlow) . It’s no surprise that MJ chose to hide his struggles from the public with makeup. It really didn’t do any good because he was ridiculed for his skin anyway. It is however understandable that he hid it.

To learn more about Vitligo, please go to http://www.25june.org

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I couldn't help but resort to sarcasm to get my point across.

Three Stooges (Dimond, Gutierrez, and Allen)

Originally posted on Turning the Table on the Chandler Allegations:

In 1995 I was working for NBC News on the OJ Simpson story. “The murders were ‘94 and trial ‘95,” a network journalist named Lydia told me. “Victor was in LA and used to visit the Burbank studios, “she said. Explaining that shows like, “Hard Copy had deep pockets and the networks don’t pay.” Victor Gutierrez always used to come around with,” stuff on Michael and at that time nobody cared because OJ was the story. It was always somebody guard or employee that came out of the woodwork.”

But the networks refusal to buy his stories didn’t deter Gutierrez– who admittedly made a bulk of his income selling stories on Jackson. All he needed was a sensational story to capture some attention, even if he invented one about a phantom video tape. “I know at the time he sold that story he (Victor) needed money. He never thought it…

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Maestro Chapter 1, Part 5

Kayla woke refreshed and happier than ever. The first thing on her mind was the wonderful time she had last night, and with a real gentleman. Last night was like a dream. Well, except for the one incident in the restaurant. Kayla generally didn’t care about what other people said about her, but now she was curious.  I wonder how they’ll treat me when I go into town. She thought. She had no neighbors, so that was one less thing she had to worry about. Today, she would go to her studio and paint. There were so many commission requests that needed to be fulfilled for the month. Not to mention the ones that were already completed had to be packaged and shipped accordingly. Then there was a business meeting with Aramark to discuss a new image for their company. She noticed that her phone was blinking with a new message:

From: MICHAEL

Good morning Kayla. I just wanted to say that I had a wonderful time with you last night. If you have the time, please join me at noon for lunch in the Town Center. If not, just know I can’t wait to see you again.

Kayla’s smile turned into a pout; she had so many things on her plate today, and a small amount of time to grab lunch before the meeting with Aramark. Maybe she could make it?

KAYLA: I can, but I have a meeting soon after. :) see you at 12!

*later*

Kayla dipped her brush into red acrylic paint, thinking a moment before applying the color to the half finished piece. It was the last one she had to work on for this month. After that, she’d take a much needed break. Painting for others was fun, but at times it could be overwhelming. She missed painting for herself, without a deadline.

The studio was quiet,  save for soft, relaxing classical music playing in the background. Sometimes it would be other types of music, especially if she wanted to rock out, but not today. Occasionally she would forget the time, but today was important. It was nearly 12 and she needed to get the packaged artwork to the post office. So, she closed up her paint and left the supplies where they were. She flicked off the light and locked the studio door.

Michael had given her directions to a cozy diner, conveniently down the street from where Kayla was to have her business meeting.  The two were glad to see each other again, and they couldn’t help but smile the entire time. At one point, Michael started joking around and they both ended up having to stifle huge guffaws of laughter.

“Look, look!” Michael whispered,  a mischievous smile playing on his lips. He gestured towards a group of people passing by their table. When they gave him odd looks, he returned an intense stare, causing them all to bump into each other trying to walk away quickly.
The two snickered.
The bell on the dinner door jingled as a customer walked through the door.

“Greetings Mayor Sneddon!” The fat, bald shop owner called. Kayla and Michael immediately stopped chatting and looked around.

Mayor Thomas Daniel Sneddon was dressed in a brown, freshly starched and crisp suit with a matching tie, white dress shirt and shoes so polished you could see his reflection in them. His thin hair was graying and he wore brown rimmed spectacles. His haughty and haggard face was upturned into a scowl of superiority, his small blue eyes dark and menacing.

Kayla suddenly lost the desire to finish her meal. Michael, however, went to his drink and paid him no mind. She didn’t miss the quick eye roll though.

A few more people greeted the mayor as he stepped up towards the counter, and his eyes roamed the crowd before resting on the couple.

Kayla nodded in his direction, but didn’t say anything. This was her first time seeing the man, and she already knew she wouldn’t like him in the slightest.

“Good afternoon,  Ms. Ford. ” He drawled in a slightly southern twang. “A pleasure to see that you’re becoming acquainted with this humble town and it’s residents.” He aimed a distasteful glance towards Michael. Kayla put on the fakest smile imaginable. “Yes, I quite like it here, and thank you for having me, Mayor Sneddon. I find some of the residents here to be very…accommodating.” She made a point by placing her hand over Michael’s.  Sneddon looked slightly nauseated.

“Maestro,” the Mayor nodded.

“Thomas.”
The two gave a curt nod.

Maestro?  Kayla thought.

” I see you’re back in town, no doubt on some freaky business with the Manor… and I see you’ve made a new friend along the way. ”

Kayla’s eyebrows shot straight up. I know this old teapot didn’t just–

“Actually,  I was here originally on business, but it seems I might have found a reason to stay.” Michael glanced at Kayla with an amused expression.

“Is there a particular reason why you chose to stop at this table, Sneddon? Surely, I hope your aim wasn’t to intimidate a new resident.” Michael said, sipping his tea. Kayla liked him even more; he was straight to the point.

“Of course not.  I’m merely here to welcome and introduce newcomers to the customs and traditions of this humble, Christian town.” he said. Kayla managed to zone out when when he did.  “It was nice meeting you Ms. Ford, and enjoy your stay.” she heard him say. After one more disapproving look, he moseyed back out of the door with his purchase. The townspeople watched him in awe.  The two looked at each other again. “I believe it’s close to two o’clock, Ms. Ford,” Michael said, disappointed. No matter how nonchalant they’d acted in front of the Mayor, he’d managed to sour the mood. Kayla looked at him with a scrunched up nose. “Michael, from now on, call me Kayla. You sound like that repulsive man when you say my name like that.”

“Alright…Kayla.” He said hesitantly. “I’m not used to addressing a woman by her first name. It wasn’t how I was raised, but I will do it to make you more comfortable.”

“Thank you.” she said sweetly. She sighed. “ Guess it’s time for me to go. I have a meeting soon, remember?”

“Of course”
The pair walked outside. The fresh crisp air of autumn was refreshing in comparison to the stuffy restaurant.

“Is it okay if I text you when I get out?” she said.

“Sure. Let me know how it goes!” He kissed her hand and waved as she walked towards her car.

The meeting with ARAMARK went smoothly. Kayla was able to present and sell her skills, experience, and expertise. She was now a designer for their company. Board members loved how she redesigned their logo to give it a fresh, updated and modern feel. All this she talked about with Michael  when she got home that night. They ended up calling each other and talking for hours.

“I knew you would get the job,” he said, genuinely happy for her. “So what have you been up to?” Kayla asked. Michael’s thoughts immediately went to the problems occurring in the forest, but decided she wasn’t at all ready to hear that. “Michael, you still there?”

“Oh, sorry. Was thinking about the screenplays I was working on earlier.”

Not a complete lie.

“I’m nearly finished with the first one. It’s about a man who begins life in poverty then goes on to become a self absorbed star who loses everything he holds dear.”

“Oooohh, that sounds interesting.”

“I hope so,” he joked. “I send it to my editor tomorrow as a final draft.” He sounded nervous.

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing, you’ll have to get me a copy when it’s published! ” she said.

“I most certainly will.”

After a while he could sense she was getting sleepy, so they ended the call and bade each other good night. Maestro remained deep in thought, and wide awake. He stood and started walking, unsure of where he was going.  His feet seemed to gravitate towards the ballroom. He sat at the piano and began to play a classic tune.  Naturally,  he was worrying about the pestilence.  The protective charm they put over the undamaged part of the woods is holding up for now, but how long will it last? Who is this curse targeting?

Chapter 1, Part 4

“Black HIStory” (Or, Why I Think Black People Need To Re-Introduce Themselves to Michael Jackson”)

ettelra:

#mjfam READ PLEASE.

Originally posted on Confessions of a Crazy MJ Fan:

Settle in, Loves…. This is about to be one bumpy ride.

I did not plan to write this particular blog for Black History Month, but three happenings I witnessed on social media pretty much forced my hand. Given the nature and source of these incidents, I thought this month might be perfect after all.

The first of these incidents was an African American artist’s “imagining” of how Michael would have looked today had he lived past 50 and without the effects of plastic surgery or vitiligo. The other was a vicious string of disrespectful, mean, and misinformed comments under a photo of Michael on a predominantly African American R&B page on Facebook. The third strike was a person who thought it was a good idea to post a question that asked if the members of this particular page felt “Michael Jackson should have gotten therapy in the 70’s before his…

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#MJFAM Toxic Ass MJ Fans

This is a rant.

Okay, I know I’m not the only one in this fan base who has noticed that there are a select few fans who think it’s okay to lie on and harass other fans for not agreeing with them. I won’t name any names, but I will say this: I’m tired of it . I mostly see this activity going on from anti estate fans (I’m not saying it’s the entire group). I’m anti estate myself but I really don’t think anyone has a place to call a fan a “fake fan”. You don’t know how much someone loves, respects and upholds MJ and his legacy. No one is going to listen to you if you attack them for not believing what you believe. There are other ways to educate fans about his estate without accusing someone of being a John Branca fan, ok? Or making snide remarks and hateful comments. It’s all very unnecessary, and it makes you look immature, to be quite honest. I don’t necessarily agreee with “boycotting” because it won’t stop the machine. Only the law can do that. Whether you purchase Michael’s old or “new” music, it still goes to Sony/Estate. Does that mean I’ll go out and purchase remixed music? Hell to the no. I’ll listen to his demos out of curiosity. Any chance I get to have a glimpse into his genuis, I’ll take it. I don’t see anti estate fans bashing Brad Sudenberg for letting fans listen to MJs demos or criticizing MJ One. Those were all done without Michael’s permission. They’re both endorsed/ approved by his estate. Yet, I see some fans bash the estate and still go to these seminars. Hmm…

I will be quick to correct anyone who looks down on other fans, especially new fans because you should be happy that people are still paying attention to his music. He will influence GENERATIONS, not just the one you grew up in. You’re seriously making our fandom look bad. There’s this new medicine called chill. Take some. You’re not a better fan if you’ve been a fan for 40 years. You’re not better if you’re a prude, you’re not better if you have over 100,000 pieces of MJ “merch”. You aren’t better than anyone else here. See that lane? Go back to it. The only thing fans can do is spread the truth. You dissatisfied with how a fan does something? Do it yourself, shut the fuck up and stop complaining. We’re all supposed to be here for Michael. You aren’t upholding his legacy by sitting around on twitter all day talking about and harassing fans. Grow the hell up and check your ego.